ruffboi’s Story
Dear 4tw team,My name is Mags. I'm in my mid-30s, I am disabled including a developmental disability (ADHD). I am also a former "Gifted Child" in that I was a very advanced reader for my age, as well as being good at naturally absorbing and recounting information in my early school years, and... well, as many many former gifted kids can tell you, it led to a lot of struggle as I got older, especially with depression and an untreated developmental disability and an unsupportive family.
I mention this because one of the issues I struggle with to this day is a very awful sort of perfectionism, where if I can't do something perfectly, my brain essentially shuts down all executive functioning when it comes to that thing, because if I can't be perfect - or close to perfect - I might as well just not do it, because the way I was treated academically by my parents and teachers led me to essentially equate "not perfect" with "essentially worthless". So if I am trying to create a new habit or build some kind of streak, even if it's something as inconsequential as "remember to log in on flight rising and feed my imaginary dragons every day", and I miss a day, that very quickly turns into just... not going back, sometimes for weeks, months, or even YEARS.
It would have been SO EASY for 4tw to be that sort of thing. For me to somehow, miraculously, build a 35 day streak and then miss one day, see my progress reset to 0, and not come back for years. I did it the first time I tried 4tw in 2018, and never managed to come back until recently. After all, if I'm only going to fail, I shouldn't be PAYING for a service I'm not using, right?
Except that's not what happened, because when I had my first day that I couldn't write until after I'd already broken my streak? I could repair it. And then the second time. And the third.
I've missed a fair number of days in the past 130 (my current streak), either unable to write at all, unable to meet the goal count, or unable to get those words into 4tw before midnight. But because my streak is still intact, I've been able to come back, each time, and keep going. This is HUGE for me. It means the world to feel like, even if I didn't manage to write today, I haven't FAILED.
So thank you, for giving us this way to repair broken streaks (or to plan ahead - thank you for that too!), and for making it not overly difficult to get more stempos should we need them, either via words or small amounts of crystals. Thank you for letting a broken perfectionist like me find a way to feel like not succeeding on any given day is not the same thing as FAILING, because that is something I need badly in my life, especially if I'm going to keep writing.
All my love to every one of you,
Mags